It's the first post of 2011 and I wish you all a happy new year! I hope the holidays were manageable and the stress is now a distant memory. As I sit here pondering my first post of the year, my head is swooning back and forth from lack of sleep keeping my thoughts out of focus but still there on the horizon.
I took a break and I needed it. The end of 2010 was hard, incredibly hard. We attended services for my Uncle on December 18th. The reception was at a local saloon and he would've loved that. It was perfect. His step-daughter sang beautifully. Lots of people spoke, even I spoke, and there was laughter all around. There was a good turnout with a fantastic cross-section of people whose lives he touched. My good friends came which meant so much to me. The drive was long, over two and a half hours away, but they came for me and they came for Unc. I felt strength and love all around. It was a good day.
I felt pretty numb for our traditional Polish Christmas Eve dinner. Normally the most anticipated meal of the year, gluten-free pierogies that take days to make, I just didn't care. They tasted as good as ever, but it was obvious that I was simply going through the motions. Thanks to hubby for doing pretty much everything, because if it was left up to me, I would've happily laid in bed watching Criminal Minds re-runs. It just didn't feel like Christmas. New Year's was the same. I was present, but something was missing from me.
This is the present. Hubby and I marked 18 years of marriage yesterday. Can you believe how old I am?! It's time to focus on what's in front of me. I need to be present. It's back to work today after having a nice long break. Oh, and there is so much work to do.
At present, our internet at the house is down. It's been down since before Christmas (which might help explain my irregular, well mostly absent, attention to your writings). AT&T dragged us along for two weeks with promises of fixing things, but now it looks like I'll have to succumb to Comcast. They're both evil monopolies, at least in my area where they are my only choices! So presently I'm trying to figure out what package deal I want and need and also need to determine how to get rid of DirecTV without incurring any penalties. It's funny how what once used to be an option simply isn't an option any more - it's a necessity. The kids have to do their homework!
I am glad the holidays are done. This means we are entering into ski season - my favorite time of year. It's a new year. Anything is possible. But I am here right now and it's okay.
Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. And today? Today is a gift. That's why we call it the present. ~Babatunde Olatunji