Thursday, August 11, 2011

it was an onsgulstraf

It all began many years ago when a teenager was just a little boy child afraid to learn how to ride his bike.  As much as his mother and father tried to convince him of the fun it could be, the little boy child was as stubborn as they come.  The more the parents tried to convince the little boy child, the further entrenched the little boy child became which eventually led to tears and frustration and a stand off. 

Now the Mama and the Papa were no ordinary parents.  Before their married years, the Mama often found herself associating with the boys and learning their love of childish, crude and wicked humor.  The Papa, well, he is a boy and that's all the explanation required.   Together they formed a perfect pair.  They called their house "the Jerky Hut" and even hung up a sign to proclaim it so. 

Bathroom humor, of course, is a favorite of boys.  It is no surprise that the Papa carried into their married years funny jokes and odd quirks established during his youth.  One such quirk is the tradition of "slugging" a fellow if he breaks wind and fails to call "no slugs".  There were times when the winds were silent and the offender could attempt to go unnoticed.  However, in the event the winds were silent but deadly and the offender discovered, he best be quick-lipped or endure the penalty at hand.

The Mama, often considering herself to be one of the guys, took to this game heartily.  And so it came to be that the Jerky Hut played the No Slugs Rule.  No longer was there a requirement to be demure and polite or even say "excuse me" upon releasing gas.  The "No Slugs" response was expected and, in fact, needed or there would be consequences - namely a sore arm.

The Mama and the Papa upon having children, and being the stellar parents they are, necessarily indoctrinated the baby boys with the No Slugs Rule at a very young age.  Perhaps things would have turned out differently had a child of the female persuasion been born unto this family, but they will never know.  And so it came to be that this family of all boys regularly entertained themselves slugging away every chance they could, which is a lot with four boys (Papa included of course).

Dear reader you might be wondering how this applies to a little boy child learning to ride his bike so here is the connection.  Given that these parents were stellar, stubborn and had this wicked sense of humor, they concocted the word "onsgulstraf".  They explained to the little boy child that riding the bike was an onsgulstraf.  When the curious little boy child inquired about the meaning of said word, the stellar parents explained that it means something that at first appears scary and intimidating but once learned becomes a great source of enjoyment.  The stellar parents went on further to explain that the word onsgulstraf is "no slugs fart" spelled backwards and with that, the fear of bike riding washed away amid uproarious laughter resulting in the little boy child hopping back on and mastering the two-wheeled creature.

The Mama and the Papa continue to use this word, each little child boy having his own onsgulstrafs to overcome every now and again.  The Mama may have even used it for herself.

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