Tuesday, May 3, 2011

the person I am

I've been spending some time thinking about the person I am compared with the person who I thought I'd be.  What were my visions of myself as an adult when I was a young kid?  How do the imaginations of my younger self compare with the person I am? 

In some ways I am very much the person I imagined, or rather the timing of major events have lined up.  I always thought I'd go on to graduate college, find the love of my life and get married.  After being married a few years, I thought we'd settle down and have some kids.  I never thought much about my career but always knew I'd work.  I dreamed of going to law school in California, an idea no doubt inspired by my admiration for my Uncle. And I did most of those things.

I married my husband merely a few months after graduating college and, after a few years of marriage, we had our first child.  I was 22 when I walked down the aisle and took my vows and the ripe old age of 25 when our first son was born. 

My path to a career, however, has been a bit divergent.  My degree is in secondary education, social studies (read glorified history major with the sudden realization that would not translate into a real job).  But oh my word, teaching high school was not my thing.  With my husband trying to finish up his PhD I didn't feel I had the option to go to graduate school right at that time.  Someone had to make the money, right?  So instead I did a stint as a paralegal with the idea that it would be good experience to see if law school was worth the time and effort.  Aside from learning that there are way too many lawyers in the world, we had our second son and my husband was working hard building up his career.  Graduate school seemed out of the question.  In a bizarre and most fortunate twist I ended up in technology and have been working on figuring out what I want to do when I grow up.  It's been slow progress thus far but I'm kicking it up a notch now.

But what am I, the me that I never thought I'd be?
  • I've turned into one of those people who checks the train schedule to arrive just before boarding time, even though trains come at least every 15 minutes, sometimes every 6.  I used to slightly smirk at folks like that, but now I'm one of them.
  • It stresses me out to have dirty dishes in the sink or crumbs on the counter even though I cursed my mother for being obsessed with those things.
  • I'm a person that cannot live without my morning coffee.  It is the most important part of my daily routine. It might be the only thing that is routine about my day now that I think about it.
  • I'm a mother that doesn't mind sending her kids off to school slightly dirty and in ripped jeans.  Okay, I do mind a little but not enough to do anything about it.
  • I love football and playing fantasy football.  Still can't believe how that happened.
  • I have kids that are not excelling in school.  Hubby and I are both smart. We work hard and stress the importance of working hard and education. - how can this be when our motto to our kids is that their number one job in life is to get good grades?
  • I frequently serve dinner right from the pots and pans.  I never thought I would do this - it's not how I was raised.  My mother would be so ashamed.
  • I am the type of person that cares about the car I drive.  I know, shallow huh?

How about you?  Did you have visions of your life and how you would live it when you were young?  Do you measure up?  In what ways are you different?
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